The Importance of a Connection
The biggest single factor in the soaring divorce rate in this country is disconnection, with 80 percent of divorced couples simply stating they “grew apart.” Most of us don’t need a formal study to bear out this fact. Whether a friend, acquaintance or a high profile couple in the news, the reason we hear most often for a couple calling it quits is that they simply grew apart.
While communication is certainly key to all relationships, it is a classic case of chicken or the egg. Are we connected because we have good communication? Or are communicating well because we are connected?
In the beginning of a relationship, couples communicate well – talking for hours on end. We’re not afraid to expose our vulnerabilities. We support and empower each other. Why? Because we’re emotionally connected. We fall in love with each other because of a deep emotional connection, not because we communicate well, and not just because we’re attracted to one another.
The key to strengthening or saving a marriage is to regain the connection you had when you first fell in love. In fact, this is a continual, repeating cycle that healthy couples must go through, not just maintain their connection, but to deepen it to a level that transcends the early, romantic-love-fueled connection that brought them together.
We all grow and change, and our relationships reflect that reality. The key is to grow together, not apart. We all want the same thing – a connection that strengthens and deepens over time, not one that weakens and disintegrates. The key is to feed and nurture our connection and when we get lost, seek the help we need to find our way back. In small ways and in large ways, relationships will repeatedly die to their old self, be reborn, and resurrect to become something stronger and deeper. The key is to keep the circle moving and not to stay stuck in the past.
Marriage counseling can not only help you find your way back, but uncover the underlying reasons that keep causing you to push each other away, leading you to isolation and disconnection, even when nobody seems to be doing anything wrong. It can also uncover the roadblocks that despite your best efforts to connect, keep getting in the way. It can help you keep the circle moving.
The Blame Game
The biggest single factor in the soaring divorce rate in this country is disconnection, with 80 percent of divorced couples simply stating they “grew apart.” Most of us don’t need a formal study to bear out this fact. Whether a friend, acquaintance or a high profile couple in the news, the reason we hear most often for a couple calling it quits is that they simply grew apart.
While communication is certainly key to all relationships, it is a classic case of chicken or the egg. Are we connected because we have good communication? Or are communicating well because we are connected?
In the beginning of a relationship, couples communicate well – talking for hours on end. We’re not afraid to expose our vulnerabilities. We support and empower each other. Why? Because we’re emotionally connected. We fall in love with each other because of a deep emotional connection, not because we communicate well, and not just because we’re attracted to one another.
The key to strengthening or saving a marriage is to regain the connection you had when you first fell in love. In fact, this is a continual, repeating cycle that healthy couples must go through, not just maintain their connection, but to deepen it to a level that transcends the early, romantic-love-fueled connection that brought them together.
We all grow and change, and our relationships reflect that reality. The key is to grow together, not apart. We all want the same thing – a connection that strengthens and deepens over time, not one that weakens and disintegrates. The key is to feed and nurture our connection and when we get lost, seek the help we need to find our way back. In small ways and in large ways, relationships will repeatedly die to their old self, be reborn, and resurrect to become something stronger and deeper. The key is to keep the circle moving and not to stay stuck in the past.
Marriage counseling can not only help you find your way back, but uncover the underlying reasons that keep causing you to push each other away, leading you to isolation and disconnection, even when nobody seems to be doing anything wrong. It can also uncover the roadblocks that despite your best efforts to connect, keep getting in the way. It can help you keep the circle moving.